The first weeks of motherhood feel like you’ve been pushed from a five storey window, and you have to learn to fly pretty fucking quickly. Only you’re also not intact.
Your heart has left your chest and is shooting through the air at the same alarming speed as your broken body and you must do everything you can to get hold of the heart and keep it safe till you reach the ground. But of course you have no idea when that will be.
During those first few days and nights following this cataclysmic event in your life, everything feels fragile and frayed. Life becomes more confusing and the world becomes much scarier place. You will cry over a range of silly things and you will feel a whole lot of powerful emotions from dawn till dusk and then from dusk till dawn. It really is the biggest shake up that life can throw at you. One thing that has stood out for me the most is that you can put up with anything.
You can withstand anything. You find yourself doing disgusting things and doing things to soothe this whining thing that you would have previously believed to be ridiculous. Like pushing a pram around your neighbourhood at 4am singing ‘Stay Awake’ from Mary Poppins. You will hand pick or SUCK snot out of a tiny nose because they’re struggling to breathe. You will stay sitting up and force yourself to stay awake for hours on end under a sleeping baby because they cry if you move. You will do anything in the world to make that little person feel better, sleep better or just look happier because they are the most important person you’ve ever met and you’ve only known them a few weeks. That little person is yours and they are made of you, and are a part of you. And that, my friends, is the most powerful force in the world.